..its simple..

if you don't like me...then don't talk to me


now im sure you're wondering where this sudden frustration is coming from... i just realized after sitting back and watching people for the past few days how anti.social i would preffer to be.... just bcuz people are interesting... i won't say fake bcuz people are TRUE to who they are... other people just don't like it that's all.!! and bcuz i apparently missed the memo on how everyone is God's personal judgment assistant and they all have something negative to say.... i would rather just to be anti.social so that i won't have to deal with this frustration....

..a positive plus a negative..

equals a negative... they explained this to us in Algebra I... and we only applied it to math falling victim to the saying

"when am i gonna ever use this in the real world.?"

well it wasn't until til about 15 minutes ago did i realize when and where i would use it in the real world... as i sit here in my office and listen to my more then talkitive assistant and her word vomit... i couldn't help but notice how negative she is.!! and besides annoying bcuz she WON'T SHUT UP it puts me in a bad mood.!

its like her negativity channels though the sound waves from her voice and deposits itself right into my ears...resulting in a change from my positive happy ready to work energy to a rude and mean behavior causing even more negative energy.!! ...

in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood i quickly change the subjet to a lighter positive one... you know to get her mind off whatever is bothering her... but its like talking to a brick wall... not one of those in one ear out the other... but its like she just is in her own little world of complaining that she won't allow any positive energy in...

im not sure exactly how to go about this issue but i do know that this office is too small for the both of us to attempt to have our own energies in here working against each other...

..happy birthday..

its barely 1.30p and im JUST now waking up... idk what the heck is wrong with me... i went to bed at like 10.30p and im JUST NOW waking up....?? wthey.!!? anyway.....

so today is both my brother and sisters birthday & my lame sister doesn't want to do anything.! (wth.?) i know right.? but my brother is having a BBQ at the park which was sooo last minute planned which of course interferes with me going to Jay.mazing's going away (but he'll be back) Picnic.... UGH.! black people can't EVER plan stuff out.!! oh well family first right.??

so i gets to the park with the fam and i quickly realize what kind of day this is gonna be... it was Senior year ALL OVER AGAIN (some people just NEVER change).... all my brothers friends are there and instead of doing normal black people bbq stuff like playin spades or domino's these "NIGGAS" decide to play basketball, which left me to cook.... I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK ON A DAMN GRILL.!!! well i didnt then i do now... needless to say i missed Jay.mazing picnic bcuz the oopid boys had me on the damn grill all effin afternoon.!! ugh.... but its okay ill get to see him monday at rehearsal...


so after True & i leave the broz BBQ... i head to Groove... bcuz Angeline asked me to take her home... ANNNNNNDDDDD.!! bcuz Brandi & i were gonna meet up (i LOVE that girl.!) so i get to Groove and guess who's there.?! KIMTOE.!!! he's FiNALLY back.!! i never thought i would miss his big headed self but i really did miss him right up until the part where he called me the black Paris Hilton bcuz of True.... i won't lie that was the funniest thing i heard ALL DAY.!! (ha ha ha good one Kimtoe)


so after dropping Angeline & True off i picked up my friend Trey who i haven't seen since BEFORE my birthday and his son who i LOVE & haven't seen since he was 4 and he's 5 now.! (yea i know right) and we hung out together and ended up going to see Saw V (that's 5 for all people who didnt pay attention in math on roman numerals day...lol) and uggggggghhhhhh it was caca.!! i coulda just waited 3 days and got the bootleg like every other black person... seriously.!


finally i got home and got some sleep... im not exactly sure what time i went to bed but i know around 3.30a i got a random phone call from someone asking me if they could borrow some money & that REALLY pissed me off.... i am NOT an ATM and i am also not awake at 3.30a ugh.!! NIGGAS i swear.!!


..mylife..

..hifi bball..

oh how i loath thee.!!


now im not exactly sure which part of the equation had me disgruntled... but bball last night was NOT "poppin" in the words of Chris Brown.! i can say the tempature may or may not have had somethin to do w. it but all i know is im a down south country kinda girl and FOOTBALL is definitely my sport....


"hey booooys.!!"





..mylife..

..terrible horrible no good very bad day..

-lied to
-tears @ work
-2nd biggest fight
-more tears
-car gone
-fraudulent spending from my bank account
-early signs of P.M.S
-puppy pee on clean clothes
-& trouble falling asleep


ugggggh.!! just like the book today is a terrible horrible no good very bad day

..mylife..

p.s. i KNOW you're watching nosey.!

..if i was a boy.. (pt.2)

*tears*

since we were little we've always been told do unto other as you want done unto you... or for the simpler minds treat others the way you want to be treated. its like an unwritten law of life that is conciously and continously broken day after day after day...

but after realizing today was a sad day and that i have the blues... i began to re evaluate the lyrics of Beyonce's "If I Was a Boy" and it suddenly dawned on me... how unfair it would be for women to switch places like she says in the song...

in th song she says, "If I was a boy, I think I could understand, how it feels to love a girl, I swear Id be a better man...." by that one statement alone it simple proves that the man in the situation would never get to see or feel the way he treats his what's supposed to be his signifigant other... bcuz she has been priviliged enough to experience it herself and would do EVERYTHiNG in her power to prevent him from feeling the same pain... bcuz she doesn't want to feel it anymore... hence the whole "do unto others as you want done unto you" idea...

and not to say all boys are like this that's not what im saying at all bcuz i know a few girls that are guilty of the same but those come far and few in between... its just a shame to know that even if the role was reversed only one person would be treating the other the way they wanted to be treated....

..saturday mornings..

awake



bcuz of True who woke me to go outside not to pee but to eat damn grass.!! (ugh) does anyone have any potty training advice btw bcuz he is just NOT getting it.!! ahhhhh.! but i can say he's only done it on carpet once... everything else is in the bathroom. and even that is strange.! its like he sees me go pee so he thinks "oh mommys going so time for me to go too" then starts running in circles.!! and due to the fact he's soo damn hyper active idk if he's playin or about to poop.!! ugh someone help.!!


S.i.O. later tonight w. my little sister & HiFi...
& honeslty if it wasn't for the fact my other HiFi girlies were going im not sure if id want to go... not bcuz its gonna be boring after meccame & rascles preform (bcuz nobody wants to see yucky SELECT [HiFiLOVE.!!] jk.! jk.!) but bcuz for the past month and some pennies all ive been hearing is _::

"go to s.i.o. to see Karlos Farrar preform"

now a month and some pennies ago i would've been 150 no wait 250% down to go...bcuz im a real ride or die support my man no matter what kinda woman (notice i said woman not girl) but see that was back when we were together and no im not sayin i don't want to go anymore bcuz he's my ex. no that's not the case at all, im friends with all but one ex.boyfriends thanks.!! i think what has me bothered is the way he's handled this "friendship" since the break up and quite frankly if this is how his "friends" get treated im not sure if im down for the ride...
but hey maybe things could change once i see him... who knows.?!! 0h well.!!


im off to slumber land since True is in his kenel for going poo poo on the bathroom rug... stop by laerz for updates

..mylife..

..game nite & the breakfast club..

so today G decided to have game night at her house with Daffi, Patti, Dani, Kimchi, Lance, Darryl, Errol, & me [duh.!] and it was SUPER FUN.!! we played Tabu which was fun... then Daffi wanted to play spoons but instead of spoons i suggested sour patch kids lol and that was interesting... so then it was time to go and Daffi had to retell her scary story and had EVERYONE scared to go home let alone outside... the Errol made it worse by saying there were lil kids outside.... ahhhh.!! and its not even Halloween yet.!!

so then the O.G. breakfast club went to the cannery for our late nite breakfast special
mmmmm tastey.!! but my tummy was still hurting the whole time (ugh.!) whatever this sickness is i want it gone N0W.!! (yucky.!) i CAN'T TAKE iT.!! not to mention Dani revealed to me that she didnt know the process of boobs and thought she swallowed her socks in her sleep.!! OMG.!! soo effin cute i LOVE this girl.!!

finally it was time to go home and spend time with my hyper active puppy well more like watch him run in circles until i fall asleep... hopefully we don't have a repeat of last night...

..emotions vs. feelings..

so i recently asked the question wats the difference between emotions and feelings.? and the reply was simple _::

Emotions are the physical manifestation of feelings...

hmm a physical manifestation of my feelings... so whatever im feeling on the inside shows on the outside.? well that's makes PERFECT sense bcuz on the inside i feel like crap... like there's nothin but thunderstoms rain clouds hurricanes and tornados in here... and it it showing on the outside to, bcuz i D0NT feel good and haven't for the past few days this is some bS.!

..if i were a boy..

BEYONCE - “IF I WERE A BOY” LYRICS

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I could turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

(Chorus)

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

(Chorus)

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy...