so i'm just getting home from my conversation with God... i drove out to Redrock, to the spot where i had my very first photoshoot w. Janna and stood there and let the wind blow all around me. it was a settling feeling, bcuz i was the only thing that was moving. no dust no rocks no derby. just me walking in the wind. from the spot i was standing you can see the las vegas strip... and i took a picture, now i dont know if its because of the wind and the fact that my hand was shaking but i know my camera can detect stability on its own. my first picture came out very blurry and i though it was very symbolic... that i drove up here really not knowing where i was going why i was going there and what i was going to find when i got there... all i knew was that i was confused and couldnt see or think straight. and thats how my picture came out, blurry and confused. so the wind started to blow harder, so i decided to sit on the hood of my car and just listen. im not sure what i was listening for but i sat there for a moment and began to listen and before i knew it i was in tears and speaking in tongues... thats a really great feeling to be wrapped up in the spirit... but its something totally different when your confessing your hurts... its like everything that was building up inside for however long just decided that very moment it was going to come out if you wanted to or not. it also ment that someone else was going though the very same thing i was going through and i had to be the sacrifice for the both of us... im glad that i followed my instinct and actually got up when God said go.. because if not i dont think i would feel as good as i do now.... i know am glad that on my way back down i was tested to see if i had
learned anything and i can proudly say that i can... and theres going to be ALOT of very unhappy (or uncaring) people over the next few weeks as i dont answer my phone and dont respond to my text messages... i was once told the 5 people closest to you are reflections of yourself, well maybe thats why no one is around because non of those 5 people where headed in the same direction i was already passing... it feels WONDERFUL to be able to release and have a clear sound mind... no longer will i be worried about whos doing what and not spending time with me because quite frankly " dont give a damn my dear." i havent smiled like this in a while... i began to miss myself... what a joyous occasion.!!! what a wonderful way to close out the last few weeks of my hiatus... this by far has been one of the best learning experiences through this journey...

a picture tells 1000 words....

Unusual You- Jawkeen and Chelsea





so ive been having this constant conversation with my bestfriend about how a good dancer is a well rounded dancer, and have no issue with trying something new even if they look stupid because it helps them grow...(she agrees btw, we arent just jazz &. ballet THANKS.!!) so then i went on Jawkeens page and i saw this video(see above) now we all know that Jawkeen has some sick stuff both girly/cunty and ghetto/hood/boy stuff but im sure that contemporary &. Jawkeen arent too things you would've put together... and for those of you who know Chelsea her backgroun dis jazz ballet...she's an LVA graduate(& is also auditioning for So You Thin You Can Dance)...

joke of the weekend....

Schae is insecure.!!! thats the funniest thing ive heard all damn weekend.!!!
yea you a funny one my dude.!!

..its my birthday i can cry if i want to..

man tonights is one of those nights where i just want to cry.!! im not exactly sure why or whats causing this wave of emotion but it sucks major.!! but the part that really has me bent is the fact that the tears wont come.!! ahhhhhhh.!! Jem &. i were talkin about that a few weeks ago... like when you WANT to cry you cant but when you DONT want to cry that ish come pouring out like the Mississippi River or something.!! man this is wack.!! i just want to cry &. get it over w.!!

anyway checkout my other blog:
schaes90days.blogspot.com


im out.!!

..no words..

okay sooo i didnt want to comment on the Chris Brown &. Rhianna situation. UNTIL i saw this picture... &. all i can do is feel EVEN MORE for Rhianna, there is NO REASON, EXPLANATION, or JUSTiFiCATiON as to why ANYBODY can say "well maybe she did something to deserve it." NO ONE whether it be male or female deserves to beaten no matter what the situation might be. for all the people (especially my male friends) take a look at this picture &. tell me that she "DESERVED" or "PROVOKED" this beating...

my 90 day hiatus...

for the next 90 days i may or may not be around... you might catch me on a good day or a day where im taking in the view... dont take it personal... TRUST ME this has nothing to do with you... its just that time in life where i stop being nice to everyone else and start being nice to me.!!

..EKETC how i LOVE thee..

okay soooo we had our EKETC. workshop on friday, and Joey from FORMALity SD came and taught *Groove... along w. normal class it was also an open audition for persons that wanted to be considered for Formality or Hi-Fi.! alot i know right.?! well after the workshop we had our own rehearsal and Oh Boy was it fun.!! the piece wasnt something major or hecka hard it was just basic hip.hop 101 so that the people already in the company could refresh their basics and the people being considered could showkase where they were at with their dance skill i guess... idk.!! man all i know is i had soooooo much fun.!!! it was like a normal class: they teach we run it they clean we run it again they clean run it some some split into groups blah blah blah... then the cirtiques came.!! lol it wasnt nothin bad just dance BIG.!! so everyone did... then it came down to that dreadful cheorographers pick and i was one... now im not gonna lie i was soooooo nervous.!! i thought i was gonna forget the cheoreo. but i was lucky that daffi and ramey were there sooo it wasnt that bad... i love those girlies.!! so after im all tired sweated my hair out and ish.! Joey says "umm let's have Schae by herself.!" WHAT.?!!!!!!!!! i know man i was sooo nervous i was think oh snaps what did i do wrong.? he is about to give me the run down FOR REALS.! then i hear "BOOTY BATTLE.!!" haha.! crazy kids.!! but you know me i cant turn down a challenge in an area im good at soooo "i went it bitch.!" and it was soooo much fun.!! i loved it.! i havent felt that HAPPY with dance in a really long time.!! so now im home in my bed w. a huge smile on my face awaiting tomorrow's 11am rehearsal.!!

..a brighter day..

yayayayayaay.!! so im finally out of the roomate situation... well almost.! she decided to move out (thank you jesus) and my sister/friend/baby momma TiANA is moving in.!! this is wondeful im so happy... im not gonna lie i wish the situation w. roomie could've ended better but hey.! you live and you learn right.?! so now the next thing to do is ger her off the lease and get tiana on.!!

..b.scott's answer to everything..

..living arrangements..

okay so i was all excited about moving into my condo and having a roomie blah blah blah... right.? well THAT has quickly changed... VERY quickly.!! in just a matter of a few months my room mate has gone a dream to a nightmare and its all because of her damn boyfriend.!! who in the begining i chose to keep my comments to myself about, but i am now wishing i would've set down the rules in the begining.!! hmm... maybe i should go back two months so you can understand... sowe moved in dec. 19, 2008 and upon moving in i was told that the boyfriend(ill keep them nameless if you dont already know them.!) would only be staying over SOMETIMES(let me repeat...)SOMETIMES.!! and i was okay with SOMETIMES.! well the first week niether one of them were there because they were out of town for the holidays so i spent the week settleing in, unpacking and washing clothes in MY(you'll understand the bold in a sec.)MY washing machine. i did this for a week... cleaning and washing clothes. Well the FIRST DAY that roomie gets back she breaks MY washing machine.! and says "i think something is wrong w. your washine machine... it doesnt work." ummm YEA because you broke it duh.!! (ugh)... so time goes by (my washing machine is STILL broken) and im on a mad goosechase to try and find a good home for True(my puppy) and at first it was ALL bad.!! but shortly after good news(or what i thought was "good news" came on the horizon(read counterfit for details) so i was all excited and then let down shortly after... but as all of this is going on i start to notice damon being there a little more than "SOMETIMES" but being the nice person that i am i didnt say anything assuming that roomie would come to me. either that or i was seeing things... but soon after roomie came to me w. this boo hoo story about how evil a woman boyfriends mom was and how he had no place to go and asked how i felt about him staying there w. us. my immediate & natural response was "let me think about it" now i should've just followed my gut and said no...HELL NO.! right away but i thought about it bcuz i know how it is to not have a place to go... so i mulled it over for a few days talked to mi madre and she agreed that if he was gonna stay there then all bills should be split 3 ways... and for some that may be harsh but seeing as our COMBINED rent is $750 split three ways aint NOTHING and you cant find rent that cheap ANYWHERE not even the budget suits.!! (hahaha.!) well roomie didnt like that and thats when the backlash started.!! i suddenly became a selfish bitch blah blah blah... but let me remind you (those who read counterfit) i broke my ass to find true a good home so we wouldnt get evicted, lost my bank account, and faced fraud charges all because she kept bitching about MY dog living there...but when i tell her that her boyfriend cant stay now im rude and selfish.? Ha.! gimmie a break.!! man idk whats goin on all i know is shes moving out and before she leaves imma have a new washing machine.!!